"Somebody's crush" Perks of Being a Wallflower quote Part 2

Okay, so, here's the quote again; “It's just that I don't want to be somebody's crush. If somebody likes me, I want them to like the real me, not what they think I am. And I don't want them to carry it around inside. I want them to show me, so I can feel it too.” 

How many times have you laid in bed and thought to yourself "I wish someone loved me for who I am." How many times did you sit there and wish that someone loved your curves, your depression, your horrible mood swings, and all of those happy moments that you get? How often did you want someone to see that they are the reason you smile every day, that they are the reason that you continuously get up and go through a horrible day just for those brief moments of joking around and care free-ness? 

For me, it's the nights that I feel worthless, unwanted, uncared for. Those are the nights that I wish someone would tell me they love the care free, smiling-too-big me. I honestly don't know what I'm getting at except for that I want someone to care about me the way Charlie does for Sam in The Perks of Being a Wallflower. Am I just saying these things because my mom always asks me why I'm not dating my best friend? Or is it because my other friend said he could see my best friend and I together? I'm digressing..Kind of.

My point in this is that, doesn't everybody want someone to love and take care of us while we are at our worst, and then turn around and play fight with us, make us giggle and be happier while we are at our best? Doesn't everyone want that?

“Blood isn’t the strongest link,” -Carrie Jones, Need

“Blood isn’t the strongest link,”

-Carrie Jones, Need

This quote can remarkably relate to my life. I have many people in my life that are blood that I love to the moon and back, but it’s true-blood isn’t the strongest link. Blood just makes you family, you still have to work on building a bond and sometimes having that blood relation is what makes bonding for families difficult.

                My Grandpa, Earl, is not my biological grandfather. He’s my Grandma’s husband. Grandpa is probably the most important person in my entire life. He is my confidant, my rock, and he’s the only father figure I have had that has stayed in my life, the only one who has watch me grown into the young woman that I am today.

                Sure, my Grandma is my world and I hers, and she and I have a wonderful relationship, but we worked towards that. I’ve loved her for as long as I can remember, but to be honest, she and I have had our rough spots, but we have worked through them.

                Alex is one of my closest friends. I met him this school year and he has become one of the biggest parts of my life. He is my best friend, and he is perfect. Ana, again, I met her this year; she is also one of my best friends. Both of them have been there for me since day 1, and they’re amazing. They both mean the world to me, and they try to make my mood go up when I’m feeling down.

                Basically, it doesn’t matter how long you’ve known someone or whether you’re blood related or not; What matters is how much you’re there for each other, how deeply you care about someone, and how when they are there for you when you need it most. 

“I will permit no man to narrow and degrade my soul by making me hate him.” -Carrie Jones, Need

“I will permit no man to narrow and degrade my soul by making me hate him.”

-Carrie Jones, Need

This quote is actually quite important to me. I have a really bad temper problem and it’s very easy for me to dislike someone. It’s like a switch in my head- one minute you and I could be laughing and joking and the next I could be staring you down, debating whether it’s worth being your friend or not. They (the friend) could just say or do something so little and that is honestly all it takes.

I have family issues. It’s not something I’m going to go into detail about, though. Basically, it involved my cousin and other family members and for a while everything was okay. Each side of the family hated the other but my cousin and I had this mutuality kind of thing going on. For me, I had wanted to be civil and not be a dramatic high school girl, for her, I don’t know. Maybe she was just tired of hating me? In either scenario, the feud came back up and started again. I hated her for years upon years upon years and anymore I sit and think, is she really worth all my energy? Why did I allow her to let me sink so far into the tar pit of hatred that I started losing the happy side of me?

And what about the people I don’t care for in my lab? Are they worth the frustration, the losing my mind, and the energy it takes to try to calm down? Why should I let people get to me in such a way that it’s making me depressed, feel worthless, and to make me want to crawl in a hole and stay away from everyone. Why?

My point is that we shouldn’t let the stupid little things get to us. I will admit that no matter how many times I tell myself this, I will always let them get to me. Anyway, back to my point. We shouldn’t give people the power to let them make us feel crappy, worthless, frustrated, and overall sad. We should give people the power to help lift our spirits.

“It's just that I don't want to be somebody's crush. If somebody likes me, I want them to like the real me, not what they think I am. And I don't want them to carry it around inside. I want them to show me, so I can feel it too.” ― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

“It's just that I don't want to be somebody's crush. If somebody likes me, I want them to like the real me, not what they think I am. And I don't want them to carry it around inside. I want them to show me, so I can feel it too.” 
― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

I think everyone can relate to this quote. Personally, I think everyone wants that special someone to make them feel beautiful, special, and like they’re the only person that’s important in the world. I know I do. This is probably going to sound super cheesy and cliché but I want that person who is going to express it to the world. The guy that is going to sweep me up, and make me feel like I’m the only person they want to be with.

            Am I the only one that wants this? I mean, I feel like it’s something every person wants, or is it just me that wants the old time guy that will walk up to my front door and tell my mom he’s there to take me on a date? I don’t care if he brought me flowers (although that would definitely be a plus. My mom would probably fall over and die if that happened.)  

            Basically I think everyone wants the old time guy even though it’s probably not true. Why can’t it be like olden times where we actually picked up the phone and called each other to ask one another out on a date? How come it has to be all via internet and texting and it’s just considered “hanging out” now? Why not plan a picnic, or plan a trip downtown to go fishing? Well, that’s what I want.

“It’s a lot easier to understand things once you name them. It’s the unknown that mostly freaks me out.”- Carrie Jones, 'Need'

“It’s a lot easier to understand things once you name them. It’s the unknown that mostly freaks me out.”

                I can relate to this quote immensely. One of my biggest fears is failing me and the expectations others and I hold myself to. I have a fear of the future. Will I get cancer and die? Will my mom; my siblings? Will I succeed in my goals and have a life I’ve always wanted?

                You can’t very much name the future a certain thing. The future is just the present that hasn’t happened yet. Sure, name it Destiny; name it ‘Y3K’ if you please. What would have happened if scientists and inventors had feared the unknown? Would we have the medicine that we have today? How about our transportation; would we have the automobiles, the trains, the planes, or even scooters and skateboards like we do?

                The Unknown to me, is what keeps us going. I think the thought that we could change something, create something new, become a different person; this is what most people live for. We live for adventure, for success and power and if we fail in that first attempt we try again with a new approach. In this day and age we shouldn’t fear something that has so many growing possibilities, but we embrace it. Think of all the amazing inventions; the wheel, pencils, paper, books, computers, the internet; they are all things that we thrive off of.

                So don’t fear something that you’re either building yourself up or down for, embrace it. If you make a mistake, learn from it and move on.  Don’t live in the past because it’s only going to hurt you and others in the future. Be happy and thrive.

A quote from 'The Perks of Being a Wallflower'

“People who try to control situations all the time are afraid that if they don't, nothing will work out the way they want.” 
― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

                For me, this is more than true. I believe that if I can’t control what happens in my life that everything I want and everything that I have worked towards will literally go up in smoke. I hate when things go wrong, or I’m not in a good enough mood and it ruins my plans. Honestly, I’m not the best person and I procrastinate when I shouldn’t. I feel like if I don’t have control over something going on, I panic and can’t focus on anything else. If I feel like I’m falling apart inside then it’s the only thing I think about and I start fumbling objects and it’s just frustrating for everyone involved.  

Being in control keeps me calm and happy. It does this because I know that if I keep things a certain way, run things a certain way, and make sure things run smoothly then I am happy. This quote can relate to my lab; in my lab, we follow standard recipes that are hard to mess up.  We create food and if we screw it up we get frustrated, we make stocks and consumes; chicken is the worst. If it’s undercooked then you’ll get people sick and if it’s over done it’s dry. Culinary has a fine line between control and the loss of it, especially if things go wrong and you have to improvise.

"You realize that trying to keep your distance from me will not lessen my affection for you,"

"You realize that trying to keep your distance from me will not lessen my affection for you," -John Green

      I hate when this happens. Okay, if someone likes you, don't push them away. Why should you? In Hazel's case in 'The Fault in Our Stars' she has cancer and she thinks that she is a grenade. She doesn't want a lot of people to miss her and be sad if she happens to die. I can understand this because my grandpa Harry wouldn't let us grandkids visit him when he went into the hospital. He knew that night that he would die from his cancer and he didn't want us to be around and see him when it was his time.  My grandma Jo didn't want my siblings and I to know that she had breast cancer. It's been a couple months since she had surgery and she doesn't know that I know.

   Increasing the distance between you and he person you like isn't going to make them like you any less. People have successful long-distance relationships all the time and they are happy. Sure they miss their significant other but that only strengthens their bond when they are together.

   Unless the distance is a break up kind of distance, then it (distance) should make you want them more. I'm sure people feel sad when they can't hold their lover in their arms and cuddle with them, but doesn't that make it all the more worth while for when you finally get to see them in person again (or even for the first time ever?)

   Personally, I haven't been in this situation because I have trust issues a d I wouldn't be able to be in a healthy long-distance relationship. I applaud those who can be and I love the fact that they are able to keep a bond like that going. Especially in military families. My cousin Danielle got married in November of 2913 and her husband is stationed out of the country. He came home for a couple f weeks, they got married and he had to go back to base. Now, she was kind if forced by the Military to remain here at home, but she waited another 4-5 months to be with him again and now she is the happiest I've ever seen her. That distance only made her love him more.  So don't be afraid of a long distance relationship, in the end you'll only love them more.